Here’s what I wish you knew before you see a fertility specialist.

​Listen to this newsletter here​

It's hard to know what your next steps are when you are trying to have a baby and it's not happening.

Friends say one thing, your GP says another. Google confuses you even more.

I will explain when it's the right time to get extra help on your fertility journey.

I understand. Making the jump to see a fertility specialist can feel daunting.

Will you be pushed into IVF? You have seen the emotional toll it has taken on friends. More importantly, you may be wondering what impact will this have on your relationship and bank account.

In truth, when you first see a fertility specialist it should be another support person on your team. Their speciality means another set of eyes. A good doctor will offer further investigations before treatment. In most situations they start slow, seeing how you respond, with the aim to avoid you heading down an IVF
path.

When you are looking for a fertility specialist to work with keep that in the back of your mind.

So, when is the right time?

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The medical recommendation is:

• Seek help after one year if you are under 35 years old. Or,
• After 6 months if you are over 35 years old.

BUT, its not a hard and fast rule.

I recommend you take your personal situation and feelings into consideration. If you don't want to see a specialist, that's ok. There are many other options that don't involve IVF!

And if the anxiety and stress of trying is affecting your life, then get an assessment sooner.

I see two key factors come up a lot in this situation

1. Age

At 40 years old, the window to try is getting smaller.

I don't say this to be harsh. It's realistic.

Get further investigations done sooner. The results of these investigations will empower you to make decisions about your next steps.

2. Impatience

I understand this emotion more than anyone (ask my husband).

So I get it. When you want a baby, you want it now. The stress and anxiety of wondering if it will ever happen can be so debilitating.

I don't judge your impatience.

Working with it instead of fighting it, is a more effective way forward. Do this by ticking off potential red flags one at a time. My fellow type A's out there will understand, knowing the next steps will squash anxiety.

And squashing anxiety is powerful!

I've seen many couples go for a fertility work up. Get the all clear. Then conceive naturally shortly afterwards. They were able to relax more knowing there weren't any major issues or red flags.

Every journey is unique. Your situation, values and beliefs are important in the decision making process.

Prepare, prepare, prepare.

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I say this so often.

Because I believe it's the most important aspect of a fertility journey. If you are trying naturally OR heading down an IVF path, take 3-6 months to prepare your body. Even if you are frustrated and impatient. Don't jump into IVF without doing this work first.

Preparation looks like this:

• Reduce stress.
• Stop smoking.
• Prioritise sleep.
• Reduce alcohol.
• Exercise. Be consistent. Find movement you enjoy.
• Get a comprehensive checklist of fertility-related blood tests.
o Then, find the right person to interpret them!
• The right person wants you to be in OPTIMAL HEALTH (not just
within the 'reference range').
• Improve your diet - focus on protein, good fats and whole foods.
• The right prenatal vitamin and supplements based on your nutrition and blood work.

Prepare for 3-6 months to improve egg and sperm quality. It will improve fertilisation and implantation for both natural conception and medical interventions such as lUl and IVF.

Book ahead.

I recommend this often with women I'm working with.

Let's say you are considering seeing a fertility specialist in 6 months time if you aren't pregnant. Instead of getting a referral then and potentially needing to wait another 3-6 months for an appointment (cue stress.!!), pre book your appointment for 6 months time.

Then it is there waiting for you if you need.

I find with most women there is an element of relief... that there is another option if you need it. The best part, you can just cancel it if you fall pregnant. Or reschedule it if you aren't ready.

Find the doctor that is right for you.

The right doctor for you may not be the one your friend raves about. Or the one your GP recommends.

Fertility specialists often have sub specialities. If you have endo or thyroid autoimmune disease for example, find a doctor who is an expert in that area.

Think about what kind of experience you want to have.

Do you want someone nurturing who is going to hold your hand? Or do you want the no bullshit approach, where your specialist will tell you how he or she sees it? The connection and communication you have with your specialist makes all the difference!

Trust is everything. It it's not there, the journey becomes much harder.

Finding the support you need can be difficult when you are trying to have a baby.

These newsletters are aimed to empower you with easy to digest evidence based information.

So you can go on the fertility journey that is right for you.

Next week I'll be sharing the 3 most common reasons why your cycle might be
irregular.

Jaya x